Racing horses

Some race horses were staying in a stable. One of them starts to boast about his track record. “In the last 15 races, I’ve won 8 of them!”

Another horse breaks in, “Well in the last 27 races, I’ve won 19!!”

“Oh that’s good, but in the last 36 races, I’ve won 28!”, says another, flicking his tail.

At this point, they notice that a greyhound dog has been sitting there listening. “I don’t mean to boast,” says the greyhound, “But in my last 90 races, I’ve won 88 of them!”

The horses are clearly amazed. “Wow!” says one, after a hushed silence. “A talking dog.”

Final Examination

Santa reported for his university final examination, which consists of “Yes/No” type questions. He takes his seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes his purse out, removes a coin and starts tossing it, marking the answer sheet yes for heads and no for tails.

Within half an hour he is all done whereas the rest of the class is sweating it out. During the last few minutes, he is seen desperately flipping the coin, muttering and sweating.

The moderator, alarmed, approaches his and asks what is going on?

Santa replies, “I’m rechecking my answers and I don’t think I did very good.”

The dangerous of all

A dietician was once addressing a large audience in Chicago. “The material we put into our stomach is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago.

“Red meat is awful. Soft drinks erode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. Vegetables can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water.

“But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all have, or will, eat it. Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?”

A old man in the front row stood up and said, “Wedding Cake!

Car puncture

Baap bete se: Car mein puncture kaise ho gaya?

Beta: Sadak par bottle padi thi.

Baap: Bottel dikhayi nahi di tujhe!

Beta: Ladke ki jeb mein thi.

Man and woman worries

Two friend are talking about different issues. Suddenly one asked to another “Do you know about the worries of Man and Woman?”

Another friend replied, “NO.”

Then the friend replied, “A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.“